{"id":1020,"date":"2025-06-24T11:54:39","date_gmt":"2025-06-24T11:54:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/?p=1020"},"modified":"2025-06-24T11:54:39","modified_gmt":"2025-06-24T11:54:39","slug":"joke-of-the-day-an-old-man-calls-his-son-and-says-were-getting-divorced-forty-five-years-of-misery-is-enough-dad-what-are-you-talking-about-the-son","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/?p=1020","title":{"rendered":"JOKE OF THE DAY: An old man calls his son and says, \u201cWe\u2019re getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.\u201d \u201cDad, what are you talking about?!\u201d the son shouts. \u201cI can\u2019t stand her anymore. Call your sister,\u201d and hangs up. The son calls his sister: \u201cThey\u2019re getting divorced!\u201d She immediately calls their father: \u201cYou are NOT getting divorced! We\u2019re flying in tomorrow. Don\u2019t do anything until we get there!\u201d The old man turns to his wife and says, \u201cWell, they\u2019re coming for the holidays\u2014worked like a charm.\u201d\u2026.More details in the comments below"},"content":{"rendered":"

I just had to share this one with you. If you liked it, then please send it on. After all, laughter is the best medicine!<\/strong><\/p>\n

On the day before Christmas Eve, a man in Minneapolis call to his son who lives in Chicago since a few years back.<\/p>\n

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He says: \u201cMy dear son, I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDad, what are you talking about?\u201d the son screams.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWe can\u2019t stand the sight of each other any longer,\u201d he says. \u201dI\u2019m sick of her face, and I\u2019m sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,\u201d and he hangs up.<\/p>\n

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, \u201dLike hell they\u2019re getting divorced!\u201d She calls their father immediately.<\/p>\n

\u201dYou\u2019re not getting divorced! Don\u2019t do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don\u2019t call a lawyer, don\u2019t file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?\u201d She hangs up the phone.<\/p>\n

The old man turns to his wife and says, \u201cOkay, they\u2019re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.<\/p>\n

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Screenshot<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2605\u00a8`*\u2022\u266b.\u2022Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. \u266b ..\u2022<\/strong><\/p>\n

BONUS STORY<\/h2>\n

I found this dirty joke earlier today. I told it to a friend right away, and he laughed so hard that he got a tummy ache. I have to admit that I found it really funny as well.<\/em><\/p>\n

An elderly wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband\u2019s lack of sex drive.<\/p>\n

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\u201cHave you tried Viagra?\u201d the doctor asked.<\/p>\n

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\u201cNot a chance,\u201d the old lady replied, \u201che doesn\u2019t even take aspirin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot a problem,\u201d the doctor replied, \u201cjust give him some Montana Viagra.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s Montana Viagra?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s simple. You discretely put the Viagra into his coffee when he\u2019s not looking. He won\u2019t be able to taste it. Try it out and get back to me in a week and tell me about the results.\u201d<\/p>\n

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A week later, the old lady called the doctor.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my lord!\u201d she wailed, \u201cTerrible! Just terrible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally? What happened?\u201d the doctor replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did as you told me, I put the pill into the coffee, and the effect was immediate\u2026 he flew up from the chair, and his eyes were positively smoldering. With a quick motion he swept all the cups and the tablecloth from the table, ripped my clothes off and took me then and there on the table. It was a nightmare I tell you, a nightmare.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\u201cOh, I see, but why was it so bad, shouldn\u2019t this be a good thing?\u201d the doctor asked in a worried tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes, this was the best thing to happen to me in 25 years! But I can tell you right now, I\u2019ll never be able to show my face in the downtown Starbucks again!\u201d<\/p>\n

Did you smile? If you did, then be a pal and share this with your friends!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just had to share this one with you. If you liked it, then please send it on. After all, laughter is the best medicine! On the day before Christmas … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1020","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1020","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1020"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1020\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1021,"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1020\/revisions\/1021"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realnewsz13.store\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}