She was raised with the belief that she was “stupid.”
This was the message her family drove home so persistently that she eventually accepted it as truth.
Today, no one refers to her that way – instead, she has been recognized as one of the 100 most influential individuals globally and one of the most powerful figures in the entertainment industry.
Involved in a terrible car accident.
Some childhoods are challenging — and then there are those that are truly traumatic. The star we are discussing today once feared she wouldn’t live past 21. At times, her early life story is almost beyond belief in its sorrow.
Born and raised in South Central Los Angeles, California, her upbringing was marked by chaos and pain. Her father abandoned the family when she was just three years old.
Her mother, Leola, was an African-American entrepreneur from a Jehovah’s Witness background. Sadly, her mother’s experiences — and everything that transpired in her life — would significantly influence our future star.
“As a child, when I was constantly moving, all my belongings had to be packed in trash bags, and that kind of moving is detrimental to self-esteem because it [makes] you feel like trash that can be easily moved from one place to another,” the star shared with Variety.
“You begin to see yourself as worthless, as trash. Personally, that was the most terrible feeling imaginable.”
When our star turned nine, her mother suffered a severe car accident that resulted in brain damage. In her struggle to regain fundamental skills, her mother occasionally unleashed her frustration and anger on her eldest child.
The mother became irritable, abusive, and aggressive.
She was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
By the time she entered high school, the future award-winning actress still hadn’t mastered reading. This wasn’t due to a lack of capability, but rather because no one had taken the time to teach her properly.
“Everyone kept telling me I was dumb – my stepdad, my mom, grandma, (…) So, I started to believe I was dumb and that I couldn’t read or do anything because I was dumb,” she recounted.
Then a teacher intervened, recognizing her potential beyond the labels and initiating private lessons. Gradually, she began to make progress, a small yet significant triumph in a challenging childhood.
“It was pretty amazing to be nominated for a Grammy for reading aloud when I couldn’t read at one point in my teenage years,” she once remarked.
“I was told daily that I’d never amount to anything,” she remembered. “Now, I look in the mirror and say, ‘[Her name], I love and accept you.’ It was all worth it.”
Eventually, her mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia and placed in an institution, leaving her children in foster care, separated from their siblings, and forced to face a world they were ill-equipped to handle.
“I was essentially a 10-year-old mother,” she stated frankly, explaining how she took care of her siblings and herself. Group homes were not much of an improvement.
“It felt more like a prison. My ability to make people laugh proved to be quite useful. I figured that if I could get these girls to laugh, they might not hurt me. But the bully girl said, ‘Ahh b***h, we still going to beat your ass … but you funny.’”
Laughter became her armor.
Her struggles didn’t stop there. While in foster care, she faced molestation, and at the age of 17, she was raped by a police cadet.
“I’m thankful he didn’t kill me or anything, but that experience was incredibly traumatizing and it really affected me for a long time,” she shared.
However, it was comedy that became her saving grace. A social worker presented her with a choice: therapy or a comedy workshop. She opted for comedy.
That decision led to a significant change in her life. Laughter turned into her protection, her expression, and ultimately her profession. She persevered into stand-up, then transitioned to acting, securing a breakout role in 2017 that would alter her life forever.
Her role in Girls Trip brought her significant praise and even secured a spot on The New Yorker’s list of the top film performances of the 21st century.
Despite her newfound fame, she always remembered her struggles.
Prior to her success, she experienced homelessness, at times living in her car, gathering funds for tuition, and couch-surfing wherever possible.
“Looking at this picture makes me want to cry tears of joy for this girl. I recall that night. She was homeless, hungry, frightened, and in pain. I promised her that if she maintained her faith in God and herself, we would reach a point where we would be housed, well-fed, less hurt, and free from fear.”
The reason behind her nickname, a dirty unicorn
She encountered obstacles throughout her journey — challenging relationships, legal issues, and instances of public humiliation — yet she never wavered in her determination.
“I know I’m a bit eccentric. … I constantly think of ways to get back at people without landing in jail,” she once confessed regarding a peculiar act of revenge against a cheating partner.
Her encounters with bullying also influenced her career path.
“I’m about to take all the nasty things those bullies said about me and turn it into profit,” she joked.
The childhood moniker “dirty unicorn” became a significant part of her bestselling memoir, symbolizing how she transformed her pain into strength.
“I was often bullied in school,” she shared. “What I thought was a mole turned out to be a wart. I had a wart protruding from my forehead that resembled a horn, and kids would call me a dirty unicorn. It really hurt my feelings, and I did things to myself that I probably shouldn’t have.”
Throughout her journey, she connected with legendary figures — from Oprah Winfrey, whose farm she aspired to work on, to Barbra Streisand and Taylor Swift — embracing mentorship, friendship, and collaboration.
Made history
She also made history as the first Black female stand-up comedian to host Saturday Night Live, a significant achievement that showcased her journey from being unknown to becoming a well-known figure.
In 2021, she became the second Black woman in history to win a Grammy for “Outstanding Comedy Album,” the first since Whoopi Goldberg took home the award in 1986.
Yet, throughout her journey, she has remained committed to her purpose: to uplift those who have been told they’re not enough. To demonstrate that trauma, abuse, and neglect do not dictate your future.
After years of hardship, she now enjoys a life that many people admire. She’s in a loving relationship, flourishing in Hollywood, and leveraging her platform to advocate for women and survivors everywhere.
Her story illustrates that even from the darkest beginnings, laughter, bravery, and perseverance can pave the way to greatness.
Her name is Tiffany Haddish.
